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 Bakugan: The Unfair Beginning

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ace_1
Shade
DARKON
PyrusMaster/Dragonoid
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PyrusMaster/Dragonoid
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Posts : 52
Join date : 2009-09-28
Age : 27
Location : Ramsey,NJ

Bakugan
Bakugan Field: 41
Chance's Left: Five Chance’s Left

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PostSubject: Bakugan: The Unfair Beginning   Bakugan: The Unfair Beginning EmptyTue Jan 05, 2010 5:30 pm

The morning was cold, and the sun was out of site. Then a few minutes later two people show! The Earth began to slow down, then the redheaded kid had 6 strange balls that were the size of a marble. Another person came to the scene, but only stood there. He spoke and said " You lost! You said that you were the best bakugan brawl in these world" the person said sadly.Now that the redheaded kid lost 3 bakugan."I did said I was the best bakugan brawl Koga, but he had him I couldn't destroy him you know" said the redheaded Kid. Then Koga spoke "You could have destroyed him anyway he is no use to us anymore Angelo"! "Then, why are we fighting back anyway" said Angelo. Then Angelo stood up. "If you say that we don't need him then you are one of them, and if I could have beat him i would but he was use That strange bakugan again" said Angelo. Koga stood there with a worried face. Then Koga took out his bakugan and said "I know that you are the best bakugan brawler in all of the world, but didn't you tried the best you can do"? "Of course I tried my best, but his bakugan is too powerful" said Angelo. Angelo walk away and Koga took his seperate way too.


3 weeks later Angelo and all of his bakugan began to trained until he was nothing, but weaken by the training. Then came to the field and said "I am sorry, but you know that we need the 6 bakugan and humans that saved Vestroia ten years ago" said Koga. Then started a new sentence "I still remmenber how they all got capture" said Koga. "We need them now that Naga has return from the dead, and create a army.
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DARKON
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Posts : 67
Join date : 2009-12-15

Bakugan
Bakugan Field: 41
Chance's Left: Five Chance’s Left

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PostSubject: Re: Bakugan: The Unfair Beginning   Bakugan: The Unfair Beginning EmptyWed Jan 06, 2010 4:04 pm

I barely understood that.
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Shade
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Posts : 1193
Join date : 2009-02-07
Age : 110
Location : N/A

Bakugan
Bakugan Field: 41
Chance's Left: Five Chance’s Left

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PostSubject: Re: Bakugan: The Unfair Beginning   Bakugan: The Unfair Beginning EmptyWed Jan 06, 2010 5:07 pm

DARKON, Don't Double post.
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ace_1
Bakugan Beginner
Bakugan Beginner
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Posts : 25
Join date : 2009-12-30
Age : 28
Location : Milwaukee

Bakugan
Bakugan Field: 41
Chance's Left: Five Chance’s Left

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PostSubject: Re: Bakugan: The Unfair Beginning   Bakugan: The Unfair Beginning EmptyThu Jan 07, 2010 12:08 am

i liked it
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Shun
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Posts : 4074
Join date : 2008-04-19
Age : 33
Location : Ventus Space

Bakugan
Bakugan Field: 3
Chance's Left: Five Chance’s Left

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PostSubject: Re: Bakugan: The Unfair Beginning   Bakugan: The Unfair Beginning EmptySat Jan 09, 2010 10:55 pm

"In my opinion..the story was really good and it was great in detail. Keep it up bri and you can be a part of the Bakugan Newsletter that I'm most likely going to creat. Oops...I spoiled the secret. ^_^;"

DARKON - "The double post was deleted and no spamming guys."
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PyrusMaster/Dragonoid
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Posts : 52
Join date : 2009-09-28
Age : 27
Location : Ramsey,NJ

Bakugan
Bakugan Field: 41
Chance's Left: Five Chance’s Left

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PostSubject: Re: Bakugan: The Unfair Beginning   Bakugan: The Unfair Beginning EmptyFri Jan 15, 2010 10:47 pm

Thank guys I am going to write the Ultimate Fight
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Pyro
King/Queen Of Bakugan
King/Queen Of Bakugan
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Posts : 1090
Join date : 2010-02-18
Age : 25
Location : pyrus plateu

Bakugan
Bakugan Field: 41
Chance's Left: Three Chance's Left

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PostSubject: Re: Bakugan: The Unfair Beginning   Bakugan: The Unfair Beginning EmptySat Mar 06, 2010 6:32 am

cool story
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Case
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Posts : 140
Join date : 2009-12-30
Age : 27
Location : Planet Earth.

Bakugan
Bakugan Field: 41
Chance's Left: Five Chance’s Left

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PostSubject: Re: Bakugan: The Unfair Beginning   Bakugan: The Unfair Beginning EmptySat Mar 06, 2010 7:56 am

Hmm....

I say if it's an online fan-fic, use different colors for dialogue-- make it easy. Also, use something to description to 'knock yo sofs off'.
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Dan0
King/Queen Of Bakugan
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Age : 26
Location : New Vestroia

Bakugan
Bakugan Field: 41
Chance's Left: Five Chance’s Left

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PostSubject: Re: Bakugan: The Unfair Beginning   Bakugan: The Unfair Beginning EmptySun Mar 07, 2010 3:13 pm

nice not bad
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PyrusMaster/Dragonoid
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Posts : 52
Join date : 2009-09-28
Age : 27
Location : Ramsey,NJ

Bakugan
Bakugan Field: 41
Chance's Left: Five Chance’s Left

Bakugan: The Unfair Beginning Empty
PostSubject: Re: Bakugan: The Unfair Beginning   Bakugan: The Unfair Beginning EmptySun Mar 07, 2010 4:42 pm

Guys this is like a typeo and I can't decise weather to make it into a book like story. So If Shun approves it, I want you guys to improve the story, longer and better.
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